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U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
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Science & Medicine

COVID-19 Desperately Googling “How to Prevent Being Drugged and Date Raped”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's something that COVID-19 was sure it would never have to...
Women's Rights

Texas Woman Files for Joint Custody Over Boyfriend’s Sperm

BAWSAK, TEXAS -- When Gov. Greg Abbot (Q-Gilead) signed SB8 into law, many wondered...
U.S. Politics

Biden Doesn’t Mind Winning AZ ‘As Many Times as It Takes Don Trump to Accept Reality’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though MAGA nation might be reeling from the results, and the...
MAGA News

Republicans Outraged Milley Showed More Loyalty to Country Than Trump’s Balls

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For decades, the American people heard a steady refrain from the...
The Democrats

Kyrsten Sinema Fondly Remembers Duping Arizona Voters Into Believing She’s a Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Kyrsten Sinema was chosen by Arizona voters to replace the...
MAGA News

God: “I Have No Fucking Clue Who This Mango Craycray Greene Is”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, House Democrats passed a bill that, if signed into law,...
Science & Medicine

Flynn: “Q Told Me Biden is Putting COVID Vaccines in Busch Beer and Marlboro Reds”

Disgraced former General Mike Flynn is pretty sure that the Biden administration is sneaking...
Science & Medicine

Are You Selfish or Just a Puss-Weed For Not Getting Vaccinated or Wearing a Mask?

It's a question as old as time itself. Well, it's as old as how...
U.S. Politics

Rip Van Winkle Worries Chuck Grassley Too Young and Inexperienced for Eighth Term

This morning, the living carbon fossil Chuck Grassley announced that he would be running...
Conservative Media

McEnany Blames Murder Rate Spike in 2020 on ‘Anti-Trumper Criminals’ Helping Biden’s Campaign

This morning, former White House Chief Bullshit Artist Kayleigh McEnany tweeted and quickly deleted...
MAGA News

Trump Warns Boebert He’ll Never Be President Again if Potential Rape Victims Are Armed

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Former one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump issued...
MAGA News

Dead Heat in “Dumbest Donald Trump in the World” Competition

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- An annual competition to find the world's dumbest man named...
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Latest articles

U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)