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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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Cherokee County Sheriff Once Said Ted Bundy Had ’30 Bad Days for Him’

"I don't know that Bundy was motivated by any hatred for women."

Trumper Blames Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton Shootings on AntiFa, Weakened Muslim Ban, and Border Wall Fight

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing YouTube star and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins is an...

Weather Channel To Start Including Local Shooting Forecasts in U.S.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- In the wake of a pair of mass shootings,  one in...

Open Carry Activist Shoots Himself, Stops Potential Mall Shooting Incident

DARWIN LAKE, FLORIDA -- 26-year-old Graham Phillips is a self-described "modern libertarian in every...

NRA Spokesman: Time Between Mass Shootings Shows An ‘Appalling Lack Of Freedom and Liberty’ In Australia

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This morning, as the world grieves over the first mass shooting...

Dick’s Will No Longer Sell Replacement Dicks

CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that they will no...

Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun Of His Own

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's...

A Statement On Cowardice From President Donald Trump’s Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative...

Man Who Thinks He Just Took Excruciatingly Large Dump Surprised By Dinesh D’Souza In His Toilet Bowl

CASTLE GREENS, WISCONSIN -- A local man was quite surprised this morning when, after...

Wayne LaPierre Too Busy Scrubbing Blood Off Hands To Equivocate About Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters today that...

Trump Supporter Wants Florida Added To Trump’s Muslim Ban List

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a die hard Donald Trump supporter,...

NRA Exec Just Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your Dead Kids, America

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- As he came out of the corporate headquarters of the National...

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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....