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I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
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Trump Sues Trump Campaign for Losing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his single term as president, Donald Trump...

Trump Campaign Legal Team Scouring Constitution for ‘Stamping Feet and Holding Breath’ Clause

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The days are growing shorter, and Donald Trump's legal team is...

Biden Legally Changes Middle Name to “Fuck Trump”

HAWKEYE, DELAWARE -- Today, President-elect Joe Biden did what his transition team is calling...

Win or Lose, Trump is Entitled to Secret Service Protection and Lindsey Graham BJs For Life

The truth is, despite the punditry class and America's elected officials' high-volume assertions, nobody...

Trump: “When You Look At Countries Called The United States, We’re Doing the Best”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a new interview with Fox News host Maria "Fartin'' Bartiromo,...

Biden Promises He’ll Hold a Big Ceremony to Hang Trump’s Presidential Mugshot

WEST HAMPTON, OHIO -- This morning, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden made a campaign...

Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike Pence was so...

Senate Republicans Fear Dems Will Smear Amy Coney Barrett With Her Own Actions, Words, and Religious Beliefs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Next week, the Senate Judiciary Committee, under chairmanship from Sen. Lindsey...

Eric Finds Daddy’s Next Tax Payment in White House Sofa Cushions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "Daddy! Daddy! Come quick! I just found a butt load of...

Lindsey Graham Offering ‘Handies and Half-and-Halfs’ to Campaign Donors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Taint) has not been coy or reticent...

Trump Issues The Constipation Proclamation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1862, as the country fought in pitched battle during the...

Remembering When Obama Wouldn’t Commit to a Peaceful Transfer of Power and Republicans Were Like, “Meh.”

Yesterday, veteran journalist Brian Karem asked President Donald Trump the kind of question that's...

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I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...