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Jeff Sessions
Jeff Sessions
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
Lifestyle
Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops
"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
May 3, 2024
MAGA News
Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s Dick
BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model Jeff Sessions held...
November 8, 2019
MAGA News
Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies
When an accident occurred at the Keebler cookie company, Attorney Jeff Sessions needed some quick rescuing.
August 24, 2019
Arts & Entertainment
Jeff Sessions Says Spike Lee Should Be Arrested for Making Joints, Not Given Awards
WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite...
February 25, 2019
The War on Drugs
Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile
GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his...
November 8, 2018
MAGA News
Sessions Promises To ‘Get to Bottom Of Why’ Hillary Clinton’s Lawyer, Campaign Manager Still Not Going To Prison
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than a year and a half into the Donald Trump...
August 22, 2018
Religion
Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them To Discriminate Against Christians
LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple...
July 31, 2018
MAGA News
Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious Freedom Space Task Force
CAPE CANVERAL, FLORIDA -- Lieutenant Commander Jesus Hubert Christ has officially checked in for his...
July 31, 2018
MAGA News
Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies
This story was first published on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time...
May 14, 2018
The War on Drugs
Jeff Sessions Says He’s Not Surprised ‘That Long Haired, Loony Liberal John Boehner’ Joined Marijuana Firm
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was announced that former Speaker of the House...
April 16, 2018
The War on Drugs
California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID
EL DORADO VERDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Earlier this month, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made...
March 18, 2018
MAGA News
Robert Mueller Assures Andrew McCabe His Office Door Is Always Open, ‘Just In Case’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Late Friday night, Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired Deputy FBI Director...
March 17, 2018
MAGA News
Jeff Sessions Not Sure Trump’s Dick Tastes So Good After All
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a gathering of evangelical Christians in...
March 1, 2018
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
Lifestyle
Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops
"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
May 3, 2024
Women's Rights
Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family
"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
May 1, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity
Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
April 26, 2024