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Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
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MAGA News

Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun Of His Own

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's...
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Adults Demand Teenagers Stop Effectively Demonstrating How Much They Failed To Protect Their Kids

GREEN GLEN, FLORIDA -- A group of concerned adults was seen chastising a group...
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Gun Rights Activist Will Only Fly Across Country On His AR-15 After Airlines Drop NRA Partnerships

SPRINGFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA -- In his home town, there is perhaps no stronger or...
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Colt Announces New Ammo Box Tops Program For Local Schools

WEST HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT -- Since 1996, Box Tops for Education has partnered with several...
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Teacher Asks Union If She’ll Have To Murder Unarmed Black Kids After Republicans Force Her To Also Be A Cop

HOT SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- 35-year-old Tracy Stillwater is a high school English teacher at...
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Dana Loesch Can’t Figure Out Why So Many People Hate Her Just Because She Takes Money From Massacre Mongering Monsters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch appeared on the panel of CNN's town...
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Local Breitbart Reader Says Marjory Stoneman Survivors Were Duped By ‘Crisis Corpses’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a devout reader of Breitbart, and...
Conservative Media

Man Who Thinks He Just Took Excruciatingly Large Dump Surprised By Dinesh D’Souza In His Toilet Bowl

CASTLE GREENS, WISCONSIN -- A local man was quite surprised this morning when, after...
Pew Pew!

Stressed Out, Underpaid, Overworked Adult Volunteers To Brandish Gun Around Students So Teachers Can Keep Teaching

It takes a well-armed village.
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God to Americans: “Your Kids Are Making It Here Faster Than Your Thoughts And Prayers”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, Larry "God" Schumway held a press conference...
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Wayne LaPierre Too Busy Scrubbing Blood Off Hands To Equivocate About Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters today that...
MAGA News

Trump Has Moment Of Silence For Parkland Victims Before Slicing Tee Shot And Screaming, “Fucking Cunt-Ass Ball!”

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- The President of the United States held a private, solemn ceremony...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)