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U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
MAGA News
Trump Campaign Sues America
"That's it! THAT IS IT! THAT IS EEEE-NOUGH!" The shouts were heard reverberating around the...
November 5, 2020
U.S. Politics
A Handy Guide for Determining How Many of the Votes to Count in a Close Election
Democracy, so confusing, am I right? There are so many intricate levels to running...
November 5, 2020
MAGA News
Palpatine Declares Himself Chancellor With Millions of Votes Left to Count From Outer Rim
CORUSCANT -- Naboo Senator Sheev Palpatine has declared himself the winner of the Republic's...
November 4, 2020
U.S. Politics
Trump Asks If It’s Too Late to Run Election on “Golf Scoring”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is clearly rattled, and it would appear he...
November 3, 2020
MAGA News
Election Day: Voters Head to Polls During Final 24-Hours of Coronavirus Pandemic
Today, millions of Americans will stand in lines, sometimes for hours, to cast their...
November 3, 2020
U.S. Politics
Trump Says a Vote for a Democrat Should Only Count as Three-Fifths of a Republican Vote
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Americans are voting today for who they think should be the...
November 3, 2020
U.S. Politics
Putin Wonders If He’ll Be Batting a Thousand or .500 After Votes Counted
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Sitting beside a roaring fire, Russian President Vladimir Putin held court...
November 2, 2020
MAGA News
Biden Supporters Surround Trump Bus and Tell It How to Get to Sesame Street
CHINGADAS, TEXAS -- A tense situation in Texas has resolved itself, and the occupants...
November 1, 2020
Sports
Brett Favre ‘Thankful’ for Career Full of Head Injuries That Inspired Him to Vote for Trump
Yesterday, former NFL quarterback Brett Favre made national headlines. It's not something that is...
October 31, 2020
Criminal Justice
Biden Plans to Deploy Official Democrat Antifa Squads In the Event of Post-Election Civil Unrest
SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in Florida this morning,...
October 30, 2020
MAGA News
On Her 39th Birthday, Ivanka’s Just One Year From Being Traded For Younger, Hotter Daughter
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told his First Lady that while he wanted...
October 30, 2020
MAGA News
Televangelist Publishes “MAGA-Friendly” Bible Just Three Pages Long
HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Bill Millen, a self-described "televangelist for Trump," told his flock...
October 30, 2020
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Latest articles
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
Lifestyle
Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops
"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
May 3, 2024
