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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Poll: 90% of Americans Support Inventing Time Travel to Convince Ted Cruz’s Mom to Be Pro-Choice

"In this country, you can't get this kind of agreement on the wetness of water."

Surgeon General Recommends Shitting on Ted Cruz Twice Daily

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The acting Surgeon General of the United States has issued a...

United Airlines Ending Its Frequent Fuckface Miles Program

United Airlines has announced that after careful consideration of the events of the past...

Mexico Offers to Pay to Send Ted Cruz Back to Canada

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- While residents of his home state of Texas struggle to...

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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...