“I personally haven’t seen him this relentless about a subject since he tried for a month to convince His Highness to deport the entire state of California.”
Though they won’t officially be able to put it into place until next Christmas, reportedly the Fartnaps Q. Rapesalot Administration is contemplating a radical change to how Americans celebrate the a popular winter holiday.
“Every morning for the past week straight, the first thing Stevie does when he opens his coffin every night is send our Dear King an email, requesting that he consider declaring all Christmases white, permanently,” a source within the incoming regime told us. “I personally haven’t seen him this relentless about a subject since he tried for a month to convince His Highness to deport the entire state of California.”
According to our source, Stephen Miller, who will serve as Deputy Chief of Staff and Race Wars, sees the 1.5% popular vote margin of victory secured a few weeks ago as a “clear and present mandate” to shift the country toward what Miller sees as a “melanin-free, Christofascist kingdom” in the first hundred days of their occupation of the White House.
We obtained a copy of one of the emails Mr. Miller sent to his boss, and below is a transcript.
My Furious Fuhrer,
I’ve been thinking and boy it would be neat if, in addition to purging this great nation of ours of all non-white people, if we could also make Christmas permanently white. That would send such a great, bigly signal to the whole world who is boss, and it would also reassure our fragile white base that we are putting their fee-fees first!
But we should not stop there. We should make it illegal to season your food, because the only condiment God allows us is mayonnaise. And let’s also get our heads together on that whole “Maple Mexico” thing, because I just think those Canucks are way too liberal and we need to bring them to heel, too.
Your Taint Polisher for Life,
SM
In addition to wanting his boss to declare Christmas “white” in perpetuity, our source tells us that Mr. Miller has some more requests he’d like to make.
“He wants to officially rename Canada ‘Maple Mexico,’ and after that to force Maple Mexico to pay for a wall between the United States, Original Taco Mexico, and Maple Mexico. Bold plans, he knows, but with the wind at his back, that little bald nazi cunt-whistle has more confidence than I’ve seen him have in quite some time.”
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