WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last week, White House Senior Policy and Vampire Cult Adviser Stephen Miller made headlines after a verbal tussle with CNN’s reporter Jim Acosta. Mr. Miller and Acosta engaged in a heated exchange over proposed immigration policy that the Trump administration supports. The policy would drastically reduce legal immigration and places new standards, such as a requirement for prospective immigrants to speak English fluently, before someone can enter the country legally.
During the exchange, Miller accused Acosta of having a “cosmopolitan bias” because Acosta implied that the new policy would result in only immigrants who look like Australians or British citizens being allowed into the U.S. Mr. Miller seemed to indicate that Acosta is an elitist who doesn’t understand that people all over the world learn to speak English. Those who have defended Acosta have pointed out he was just speaking metaphorically, and as a son of a Cuban immigrant, of course he knows people from other countries outside of Australia and Great Britain speak English.
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Though Miller’s rhetoric might have been designed to make him more sympathetic to Trump’s base — red state, white evangelicals in rural areas — The Washington Post would later report that Miller is currently living in a million dollar apartment in the D.C. area. Others have pointed out that Miller grew up in a well-off family and had many advantages that non-white immigrants do not have. Many have questioned whether Miller was sincere or simply using a “dog whistle” xenophobic term to fire up certain members of the Republican rank and file voters.
Mr. Milller appeared on a conservative radio show this morning to explain those comments, and to give some clarity.
“Sure, I grew up with money,” Miller said, “my family was rich. I absolutely grew up in a cosmopolitan lifestyle. But that doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize with my dirty-faced, rednecked brethren!”
The show’s host took a caller who asked Miller how he could insult Acosta’s “cosmo ways” when he himself clearly grew up in a rich, elite setting. Miller laughed. Then he explained to the caller that he’s no different from any other “garden variety white nationalist.”
“Look, I put my Nazi uniform on one leg at a time, just like you,” Miller explained, “Just because I could literally buy and sell your entire existence that doesn’t make me some rich, minority loving, non-MAGA guy!”
Miller assured the radio host, as well as his audience, that they can trust him to enact the agenda they elected Trump to carry out.
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“We’re not dumb guys,” Miller said, “we know that brown people scare you, even if you live thousands of miles from the border.”
Miller further explained himself and his policy goals.
“We know that trans people scare you, even though you’ve probably peed around or near one many times without knowing it,” Miller said, “and we know that when we say ‘America First’ you guys hear, ‘Whites Only.’ Just because I’m richer than you’ll ever be and actually look down on you because you’re poor, that doesn’t mean I don’t or can’t share the same racist beliefs you do.”
Reportedly, President Trump was so pleased with Miller’s performance that he let his policy adviser move the coffin Miller sleeps in up to the presidential residence in the White House.
This story is developing.