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Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady Fucksticks Quarterly, intimated that he believes his operating principle of "unitary...
Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator and offered him a part in an upcoming movie. It's...
2003 Republicans Want U.S. Military to Liberate U.S. From 2020 Republicans
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A delegation of elected Republicans from the year 2003 appeared on the steps of the capitol rotunda this morning, demanding that...
Biden Commits to Unveiling Trump Presidential Portrait in Nearby Landfill
Former Vice President Joe Biden announced today that if he wins the election this fall, he will "put petty partisan politics aside" and participate...
Lindsey Graham Doesn’t Think Senate Should Return Until He Can Fit His Mask Over...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) can be counted among the elected Republicans who want to re-open the country's economy up despite the...
55,000 Dead Americans Agree: It’s Important to Recognize How Mean The Press Is To...
As of the time of publication, the United States of America has officially reported 55,564 deaths from the pandemic outbreak of COVID-19, or the...
NY and CA Offer to Buy Kentucky So They Can Stop Bailing It Out...
This week, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow) seemed to put the kibosh on any more coronavirus stimulus packages. On the same day that...
Trump Demands Obama’s Long Form Biden Endorsement
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, former President Barack Obama endorsed the presidential campaign of his Vice President, Joe Biden. In a video more than ten...
RBG: “Hey Assholes! I’m Not Immortal, So Which Old White Guy You Trust More...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg issued an urgent press release this morning, a rare and unprecedented event in and of...
Pro-Life Supreme Court Justices Rule ‘Not So Much’ When It Comes to Wisconsin Voters
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a 5-4 decision split down ideological lines, the United States Supreme Court issued an exceedingly rare "Not So Much" ruling...
