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Romney Had Spine Removed So He Could Suck Trump’s Dick
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shocking absolutely, positively nobody, Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) announced today that he would support his party's push to ram a replacement...
Taliban Endorses Judge Amy Coney Barrett for Supreme Court Justice
AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban have issued the following statement, in their words "fully and completely endorsing fellow Religious Zealot" Judge Amy Coney Barrett to...
Cruz: “The Biden Rule Only Applies to Black Democrat Presidents”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If one goes looking for the so-called "Biden Rule" in the United States Constitution, they'll spend a lot of time, but...
Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered the question before, but certainly there's never been a need to before the...
Trump Sends Navy to Atlantis to Investigate Evidence of Q-Anon
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has directed the Secretary of the Navy to immediately begin planning an operation to send an elite S.E.A.L....
Trump Relinquishes Presidential Responsibilities in Democrat-Run Cities
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a press conference today, President Donald Trump officially relinquished all presidential responsibilities in cities that have Democrats as mayors. It's...
Trump Asks Barr If Democrats Can Be Stripped of Their Citizenship
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Poll after poll is starting to paint a grim, dismal picture of this fall for President Donald Trump's re-election bid. While...
Devin Nunes Questions Founders’ Motives for Not Allowing Presidents to Delay Elections
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Can the President of the United States of America, with all the powers the office grants them, postpone or delay a...
Incoherent Idiot Wastes Hour of Everyone’s Life Reminding Them Why They Should Vote for...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a nearly hour-long, oftentimes rambling, mostly incoherent rant, a massive idiot and continually failed businessman stood in the White House...
President Trump Eliminates The Judicial Branch Via Executive Order
You might think the country really needs its Judicial Branch, but if you do, you're probably a libtarded beta cuck male and should shut up.
