WASHINGTON, D.C. — A contentious moment between White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and a reporter during press briefing this week left many people scratching their heads, and wondering just how firm a grasp on how taxation functions Sanders has. Word out of the White House today is that Press Secretary Sanders was extremely unnerved by that talk, and she was seen lecturing someone very near to her about it — her ham sandwich.
Sanders was asked by a reporter how the president intends to fund his border wall. Trump has indicated he would be willing to shut the government down if Democrats do not acquiesce and give the lame duck Congress the votes the roughly $5 billion his administration has asked for in a temporary spending bill, aimed to keep the government open.
“Let me tell you one thing, Hammy,” Sanders was heard defiantly but incorrectly explaining to her sandwich, “taxation is theft, and there is nothing in the Constitution about paying for our government with thievery. Ergo, taxes don’t actually fund our government. Checkmate, libs.”
In recent days, Trump has ping-ponged back and forth as to just how committed he is to shutting down the government over his wall. In a now infamous, publicly televised meeting at the White House with incoming House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, the two Democrats were able to get Trump to defiantly and preemptively take credit for any shutdown. However, just a day later, Trump was posting videos, mocking Democrats for previously supporting border enhancements and asking them to reconsider shutting the government down.
“We all know, Hammy, that our government is actually funded with big ol’ yard sales and lemonade stands every summer,” Huckabee said while eating her potato chips, dipping them in a bucket of ranch dressing she keeps around her neck, like that big clock Flava Flav wears. “So I don’t know why those libturds are harassing me about how we’re gonna pay for the wall out of taxes anyhow!”
Confusion arose at this month’s daily press briefing when Sanders seemed to indicate that the administration is looking to other agencies’ budgets to pay for the border wall. Despite this suggestion, Huckabee would not concede to reporters those funds would also ultimately come from the taxpayers. This exchange left many wondering how much Huckabee Sanders truly understands about how the government operates.
“Of course those vile, angry, meanie head liberal media types will make a big deal out of this, Hammy,” Huckabee told her sandwich, “but who cares if I don’t know how the government works? Does a bomb maker have to know how abortions work before he bombs a clinic? Does an arsonist have to know how a farm operates before he burns the barn down? Checkmate. Chemtrail. Libtards.”
This is a developing story.
James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPost, Alternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.News, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals.
