QAnon Shaman Released From Prison Early and Sent to Halfwit House

Published on

Jacob Chansley, the self-appointed “QAnon Shaman” who helped storm the nation’s capitol on January 6th, 2021, has been released from federal prison fourteen months early.

Mr. Chansely, who most Americans will always remember for wearing Viking horns, painting his face in red, white, and blue, and traipsing shirtless through the halls of Congress carrying an American flag tipped with a spear, will not be going directly back home, however. Instead, he will be sent to a halfwit home, specifically set aside for idiots who get a procedural, early release.

RELATED: Judge: Trump Must Give Congress All His McDonald’s Receipts From January 6th, 2021

“We can confirm that Jacob Chansley was transferred to our facility early this morning, and he is already fitting in quite nicely with his fellow morons,” Gary Tomjonavich, who runs the halfwit house, told reporters this morning. “We’ll keep Mr. Chansely plenty busy during his stay here. He’s already been trying to fit round blocks in square holes for the last two hours.”

Mr. Chansley said through his lawyers that he is grateful for the chance to leave federal prison, and promised he’ll only commit much less infamous acts of domestic terrorism in the future. Chansley said he plans to start making income as soon as he’s released from the halfwit house by publishing a pro-MAGA cookbook full of recipes that include sweat from Donald Trump’s testicles, taint, or anus.

RELATED: MTG Hopeful Tucker Carlson Only Shows January 6th Footage From Her Good Side


QAnonShaman Released From Prison Early and Sent to Halfwit House satire politics #politik #Janaury6 Trump

♬ original sound – James Schlarmann – James Schlarmann

Follow James: PostTikTokTwitterInstagramFacebook

Latest articles

Betrayal? RFK’s Brain Worms Just Endorsed Donald Trump

"Much like how an Evangelical Christian can read the Bible and not know anything...

Every Former President Ranked from Least to Most Felony Convictions

Our regular readers will likely recall that part of our mission statement here --...

When Will Biden Call Off His War on Rapey Conmen Coup Conspirators?

The following editorial was written by Jethro Bohiggins -- a pro-MAGA singer/songwriter and podcast...

The RNC Will Officially Change Its Platform to Be Very, Very, Very, Very Soft on Crime

" need to do what happens to my TOTALLY NORMAL AND ABOVE-AVERAGE LENGTH PEEN...