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Disappointed Eric Trump Didn’t Spot Batman or Spider-Man on Super Tuesday

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Eric Trump, son of President Donald Trump, told friends and family this morning that he was "bigly sad and...

Trump Demands Toyota Immediately Produce Vaccine for “Corollavirus”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has issued and official presidential demand to the executive board and shareholders of Japanese automotive company Toyota,...

Trump: Coronavirus Part of Deep State Plot to Tank the Stock Market and Hurt...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. stock market is having its worst week since the start of the Great Recession. Many investors have been spooked...

Trump Issues Executive Order for Dow Jones to Work Like Golf Scores

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the markets opened today, the Dow Jones Industrial average opened with another plummet of over 1,000 points. This has seen...

Poll Shows Majority of Americans Wouldn’t Mind if Coronavirus Outbreak Contained Only to Oval...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A new poll just released shows that a majority of Americans wouldn't mind it in the slightest if a coronavirus outbreak...

Mike Pence Orders CDC to Quadruple Thought and Prayer Capacity to Combat Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his first official act in the capacity of overseeing the country's response to a potential coronavirus update, Vice President High...

Trump Administration Tells Americans Coronavirus Would Have Been Stopped By Trump’s Wall

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump's presidential administration told reporters today that while they don't think American citizens "should panic any time soon" about a...

Sotomayor and Ginsburg Suggest Trump Should Recuse Himself From All Cases Involving America

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Throughout his presidency, President Donald Trump has tried to maintain an air of civility, comity, and bipartisan teamwork among all three...

Anti-Corruption Crusader Pardons Four Corrupt Criminals Because He Cares So Much About Corruption

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most prominent anti-corruption crusading president in American history issued pardons to eight people today, four of whom were convicted of...

Stephen Miller and His New Bride Enjoying a Lovely Honeymoon Touring Dachau

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DACHAU, GERMANY -- Over the weekend, White House Senior Racism Adviser Stephen Miller got married to Vice President Reverend Mike Pence's press secretary, and...