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Report: Ted Cruz Had Victory Meal of Champagne and ‘Nasalcargot’ After WI Victory
Senator Ted Cruz celebrates his Wisconsin Primary victory in style.
Court Rules Ted Cruz is a Citizen, But Not a Member of the Human...
A court has declared Ted Cruz a citizen, but not a human one.
Muslim Cop Patrols Ted Cruz’s Neighborhood for Douchebags, Finds One Named Ted Cruz
While patrolling Ted Cruz's neighborhood, this Muslim cop finds something horrible.
Ted Cruz: Trump shouldn’t be president because he’s ‘less subtly disgusting than me.’
Ted Cruz wants you to pick the lesser of two cancers.
Ted Cruz: Let me be the AIDS to rid our party of Trump’s Cancer
Ted Cruz draws an interesting analogy between himself and Trump.
Ted Cruz to GOP Voters: ‘Think of me as the lesser of two diarrheas’
Ted Cruz knows he's not the most loved, but he wants to be the second-most hated.
Ted Cruz Would Sign Executive Order Retroactively Deporting All Immigrant Families Ever
Ted Cruz wants every trace of immigrants wiped from the continent.
As President, Ted Cruz Would Stop Cutting Crusts of GI’s PB&J’s
Ted Cruz doesn't want soldiers eating gluten-free meals, and he wants their sandwiches to keep their crusts.
Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Agree U.S. Should Get ‘Dibs’ on Gravitational Waves
Two Republican candidates agree on which country should control the newly discovered gravitational waves.
Donald Trump Offers to ‘Loan Ivanka’ to Ted Cruz for His Next Campaign Video
Ted Cruz decided to pull a commercial with a former softcore porn star, but Trump could ride to his rescue.
