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Trump Says He Can’t Be Impeached Until Dems Impeach Individual-1 First
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the House Judiciary Committee approved and adopted rules for an impeachment investigation into President Donald Trump for alleged conduct...
President Commemorates The Day His Skyscraper Became the Tallest Building in New York
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a solemn ceremony this morning, President Donald Trump led the nation in a day of remembrance. On this day, 18...
Trump Considering Sarah Palin as National Insecurity Adviser
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Citing what he called "extremely fart-tudinous circumstantials," President Donald Trump told the media today he was strongly considering former half-term Alaskan...
MAGA Boy Pretty Sure He Can Insult His Way into AOC’s Stupid Commie Pants
RICCI RIVER, NEW JERSEY -- If there's one thing that 35 year old right-wing writer Bill Wickidildaugh knows it's that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is...
“I Guess I’ll Just Have to Bomb Iran All By Myself!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A visibly upset John Bolton was seen angrily leaving the White House this morning, having tendered his resignation at the request...
Taliban Spokesman Says They Weren’t Sure They Wanted to Hang Out With a ‘Religious...
AFGHANISTAN -- A spokesterrorist for the Taliban announced today that his employers are "just fine and dandy" with President Trump calling off planned talked...
President Orders ICE to Deport Entertainers
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A feud between two entertainers and the President of the United States erupted on Twitter last night after the most powerful...
Ted Cruz Offers to Lube Up and F_ _k a Gun to Show How...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- So far in 2019, CBS News reports that there have been more mass shootings than days on the calendar. One such...
Trump Claims He Never Would’ve Said Dorian Would Hit Alabama If He Knew Where...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An irate President Trump shouted at reporters on the front lawn of the White House this morning, demanding that "everyone, everywhere"...
Jesus Christ Reminds Americans Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Made of Kevlar
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, the Executive Vice-President of Holy Trinity Inc. held a press conference and addressedm among other things, mass...
