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Medical Community Stunned By Discovery of Vertebrate Democrat
Doctors and medical professionals all over the country, and indeed the world, are marveling right now that the discovery of a new breed of...
Nancy Pelosi Still Can’t Find Her Constitutional Authority to Hold Trump Accountable
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She knows she left it somewhere. She had it in her purse, or perhaps a hip pocket; she's not quite sure...
Fearing Another Whistleblower, President Bans Tea Kettles From White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the President of the United States issued an edict, demanding that all whistles and things that can whistle be...
President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at approximately 7:45 am a state of national emergency was declared...
Shane Gillis Apologizes to All The Good Asians He Does Like. Both Of Them.
Alleged comedian Shane Gillis will not be joining the cast of Saturday Night Live, as had been previously announced by NBC. The same day it was...
Shane Gillis Fired From SNL But Hired by KKK
RACIST MORON VALLEY, PENNSYLVANIA -- This week, a spokesperson for Lorne Michaels, producer of NBC's long running sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live, announced that Shane...
Ben Shapiro Just Really Wants to See Justice Kavanaugh’s Dick, Okay?
Dear Brett Kavanaugh,
Ben Shapiro just wants to see your dick, okay? For the good of the country, sure, but really for the good of...
Barack Obama Buys and Renames Netflix, Releases List of Its First Three New Shows
KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he and his wife Michelle have agreed to purchase streaming media company Netflix and...
Trump Offers to Make Palin Secretary of ‘Educationizing’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he was creating a brand new cabinet position, on his own authority, and that former...
NRA Supports Universal Background Checks and Waiting Periods For Vaping Products
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- During a press conference this morning, a spokesterrorist for the National Rifle Association announced that the NRA officially backs the Trump...
