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She Didn’t Want to Be a Bernie Bro, She Was Just 22 and Liked...
Kirsten Tomjanovich is a Bernie Bro. Yes, she's biologically a female, and identifies as such, but Kirsten is, undeniably, a Bernie Bro. At least...
Bloomberg Will Pay You $15,000 and a New Tesla to Tell People He Won...
DESERT SPRINGS, NEVADA -- Last night, former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg made his first appearance on the Democratic primary debate stage. All...
Anti-Corruption Crusader Pardons Four Corrupt Criminals Because He Cares So Much About Corruption
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most prominent anti-corruption crusading president in American history issued pardons to eight people today, four of whom were convicted of...
Cannabis Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% in 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with the American Academy of Medicine and conducted a yearlong study...
Obama Sends Trump “Happy Impeached Presidents Day” Card
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1971, the Uniform Monday Holidays Act was passed by Congress and signed into law by former President Richard M. Nixon....
Citing Trump’s Impeachment, Son of Sam Requests Retrial With No Witnesses or Documents
NEW YORK -- Attorneys for the convicted serial killer known as "Son of Sam" have requested that he be given a new trial, more...
Lung Cancer Devastated to Find Out It Has Advanced Rush Limbaugh
Lung Cancer shocked the carcinogenic community today when it revealed what it called a "truly devastating diagnosis." At a press conference earlier today, Lung...
Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that an enormous rug and 51 brooms have been delivered to the Senate chamber...
President Says Constitution Signers Were ‘Never Trumpers’ Who Planned a Coup Against Him
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just moments ago, President Donald J. Trump accused James Madison, Benjamin Franklin, and the other 37 signatories of the Constitution of...
New York Offers to Rename Public Toilet After Trump
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps in an attempt to quell a growing controversy and make amends with the most powerful small handed man...
