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Trump Wants Pledge Changed to “One Nation, Under Q”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's long been wondered just how much of President Donald Trump's base is made up of people who also happen to...
Hasbro Releasing “Trumpnopoly” Board Game Where Winning Players File Bankruptcy and Duck Income Tax
PAWTUCKET, RHODE ISLAND -- During a quarterly conference call with investors, Hasbro -- the toy and game company that currently owns the rights to...
Nation Devastated to Learn Trump Officials Will Likely Recover from Coronavirus Infections
All across the United States, Americans are finding out that the executive branch of their government is currently besieged by an outbreak of COVID-19,...
Coronavirus Worries About Its Exposure to Stephen Miller
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the country wakes up and reads more and more reports of COVID-19 infections in the Trump administration, the virus itself...
Experts Warn: U.S. Economy Now as Depressed By Trump as Americans Are
The April 2020 jobs report is in, and it's an absolute blood bath, which has many financial experts sounding the alarm this morning.
The US...
Whiny Bitch Says He’d Suck Less at COVID-19 Response If Media Wasn’t So Mean...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A big, fat, whiny, entitled, spoiled bitch stood in the White House press briefing room and insisted to reporters yesterday that...
Pro-Trump Televangelist Wonders if COVID-19 God’s Punishment for Impeaching Trump
HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- It's not often that Rev. Bill Millen -- a self-described and branded "Televangelist for Trump" -- finds himself disagreeing with...
Mike Pence Went Looking for Coronavirus Videos But Accidentally Watched Pornhub for 12 Hours
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Vice President High Priest Mike Pence has spent approximately the last twelve hours...
Treasury Department Announces Senior Jobs Program for Economic Recovery From Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Treasury Department has started a new pilot jobs program geared toward seniors, and they're hoping it inspires "grandmas and...
Gwyneth Paltrow and David Avocado Wolfe Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been "contained" in the United States, President Donald Trump is still...
