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Trump Asks If It’s Too Late to Run Election on “Golf Scoring”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is clearly rattled, and it would appear he might actually believe he could lose his reelection bid, now...
Election Day: Voters Head to Polls During Final 24-Hours of Coronavirus Pandemic
Today, millions of Americans will stand in lines, sometimes for hours, to cast their ballots for president. Of course, there are several other important...
Cruz Awaits Poll Closings and News About Whether His Wife Will Be Ugly Another...
FUCKFACE, TEXAS -- Canadian-born-Super-Texan-Cowboy-Elite-Ivy-League-Lawyer Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) told his staff this morning during a conference call and prayer session that he's "extremely nervous"...
Putin Wonders If He’ll Be Batting a Thousand or .500 After Votes Counted
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Sitting beside a roaring fire, Russian President Vladimir Putin held court with the media of his country this evening and gave...
Brett Favre ‘Thankful’ for Career Full of Head Injuries That Inspired Him to Vote...
Yesterday, former NFL quarterback Brett Favre made national headlines. It's not something that is necessarily new to Favre. Over the course of several years,...
President Declares Tampa Bay Rays Winners of World Series ‘By Electoral College Rules’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Los Angeles Dodgers capped off a season for the ages, one marked by the much shortened schedule, thanks to the...
Ivanka: “America Needs the Leadership of Small Hands and Even Smaller Genitals”
OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held in a small city just a few miles south of Orlando, First Lady...
FBI Investigating Contents of Eric Trump’s See ‘n Say
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A truly stunning announcement was just made by the FBI at its headquarters in the nation's capital.
"Just after lunch time, one...
Trump Demands Every Vote Cast For Him Is Counted ‘At Least Once’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With just over a week to go until Election Day, President Donald Trump is demanding that state election boards ensure votes...
Donald Trump Has Many Things In Common With Abraham Lincoln. Here Are Just Some...
While lamestream media intelligentsia cultural Marxist elitists scoffed at the notion when he brought it up in last night's debate, there can be no...
