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Huckabee Sanders Says She’s Running to ‘Prove You Can Slap Lipstick on a Pig...
EDITOR'S NOTE: Offended by us calling Sarah Huckabee Sanders a "pig" in this article? You are free to leave your complaints at any one...
Biden Shuts Down Federal Research Into Windmill Cancer Vaccine
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The federal government will no longer be researching a windmill cancer vaccine, thanks to a new executive order signed by President...
Palin Donates Half Her Brain to Boebert and Doubles Her Cognitive Capacity
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a stunning and unforeseen development, former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has donated half her brain to freshman Congresswoman Lauren...
Putin Admits He’s Feeling Down About Being a One Term President Installer
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- He's finally had enough time to process it. He didn't want to believe it at first, but there's just no denying...
Biden Declares He Doesn’t ‘Give a Shit’ About How Big His Inaugural Crowd Size...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For many, many years how large a crowd was that gathered to watch a president be sworn-in was a matter of...
Biden ‘Not Likely’ to Continue Presidential Tradition of Staring Straight Into an Eclipse
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Every four years, the United States of America holds a presidential election, and whoever wins the most votes in the Electoral...
Melania: Giving WH Tours To Incoming First Ladies Is The Only Thing She Won’t...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, Third First Lady Melania Trump shocked quite a few people when she plagiarized entire sections of a speech given...
Trump Will Just Sit in the Oval Office and Masturbate to Old Apprentice Tapes...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Most people didn't have any notion that soon-to-be-former President Donald J. Trump would attend Joe Biden's inauguration tomorrow. What most people...
NRA Files Chapter 11 Moral Bankruptcy
FLINTLOCK, NEW YORK -- The National Rifle Association filed for Chapter 11 Moral Bankruptcy in federal court last week. In doing so, the NRA...
Draft of Trump’s Farewell Address Leaks
In less than 48 hours, Donald Trump will no longer be President of the United States. Rumors are running rampant that he will try...
