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Hannity, Ingraham, Bongino, Hitler Support Feds’ Crackdown on Peaceful Portland Protesters

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In a year already filled with drama and tumult, it seems that 2020 isn't quite done with head-scratching, eye-popping, eyebrow-raising headlines. MORE: Trump Orders EPA...

Ginsburg: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The White House First”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2019, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg underwent three weeks of medical treatment for pancreatic cancer. Now, it seems her...

Devos Identifying a Few Thousand Students America Can Afford To Die From Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Education Secretary Betsy Devos told the media today that she's been "hard at work" identifying several thousand American children that the...

Incoherent Idiot Wastes Hour of Everyone’s Life Reminding Them Why They Should Vote for...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a nearly hour-long, oftentimes rambling, mostly incoherent rant, a massive idiot and continually failed businessman stood in the White House...

Tucker Carlson Hires David Duke as New Head Writer

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Tucker Carlson was in need of a new head writer for his Fox News program, and this morning it...

Trump Signs Executive Order Making All His Future Bowling Scores 300s

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In his latest executive order, President Trump wants to ensure his legacy as a premier bowler remains intact after he's left office.

‘CNN Is Fake News!’ Screams Man Loading His Rifle While Entering Accused Pedophile Pizza...

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A man claims CNN is fake news while getting ready to personally investigate a story that has been widely debunked as fake news.

Lahren: NASA Should Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

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VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren told a radio host today that she was about to...

Should I Be Concerned That My Penile Discharge Looks Exactly Like Stephen Miller?

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Author's Note: Before reading this column any further, please be advised that I will be discussing a personal medical matter in great, gory detail. If...

Louie Gohmert Dragged Away By Masked Millennials After Saying “Antifa” 3 Times Into Bathroom...

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VALLE DE MORMÓN RACISTACALVO, TEXAS -- According to those with firsthand knowledge of the situation, authorities are still desperately searching for a congressman who...