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Tea Partier Briefly Considers ‘Just Admitting’ He’s Afraid of Mexicans
One man's ideas on immigration, examined.
Humankind Considers Ending Republicans’ Birthright Membership to the Species
"The bottom line, is that until Republicans get back to their roots as the Party of Lincoln, we're not going to automatically assume a Republican is human."
Scott Walker Wants to Replace Statue of Liberty Torch With Upraised Middle Finger
Walker will tell supporters that "imaginary, invisible lines in land masses" need to be protected in order to "guarantee that American exceptionocitization continues far into the future."
Marco Rubio Says He’ll Appoint ‘Vagina Czar’ To Enforce Abortion Ban
"It's just that I believe in making government so small, we can fit it in your vagina."
County Republican: ‘I’m Not Racist, I Just Don’t Like or Trust Foreigners or Mexicans!’
"Does it make me racist to have an irrational fear of new people coming here?"
Republicans Worried Wrong A-Hole Is Fronting Their A-Hole Policies
Are Republicans freaking out about the wrong a-hole representing their a-hole policies?
Joe Biden Offers to Just Move His Chair Over to the Oval Office Next...
He'd leave the bean bag chairs in his old office though.
Fox News Announces ‘B-Team’ Debate, Moderated by Inanimate Rock
Fox News has announced plans for a second, B-team debate of Republican contenders.
Rand Paul Fornicates With Copy of Tax Code
A new campaign publicity video shows Rand Paul in a compromised position with the U.S. tax code.
Ted Cruz: Iran Nuclear Deal Is ‘Obama and Kerry Doing Two Holocausts To Israel’
Ted Cruz wanted to one-up and upstage Mike Huckabee after the evangelical former governor compared Obama and Kerry to Nazis.
