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DeSantis Signs Order Making It Illegal to Care About COVID Within Florida State Lines
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) had a unique idea to help his state emerge once and for all from the COVID-19 global...
Greene: January 6th Was Just Locker Room Treason
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresshorse Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told reporters today that she is "bigly frustrated and upset" at how people arrested for...
Biden Administration Working With Local Churches and Klan Chapters to Get MAGAs Vaccinated
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Getting more Americans vaccinated against COVID-19 and its rapidly moving delta variant is a key initiative of the Biden administration. Since...
Boebert: “Americans Don’t Need Vaccines Because The Second Amendment Already Protects Them”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) told a group of pro-MAGA political donors at a prayer breakfast this morning that she thinks getting...
Charlie Kirk Wins Gold Medal for Having a Terrifyingly Small Face on a Hilariously...
Right-wing provocateur Charlie Kirk made waves today when he lashed out and criticized multiple-gold medal winning American gymnast Simone Biles, who took herself out...
Unathletic Traitor Has Some Thoughts to Share on Simone Biles
MT. DICKHOLE, WEST VIRGINIA -- 48-year-old Doug Palumbo is not what anyone would call athletically gifted, but he doesn't hide from that fact. Friends,...
7 Out of 10 Republicans Want to Give Monarchy a Try Instead
During a press conference today, Jenelle Beenflik discussed the results of a new opinion poll conducted by We Poll You So Hard in cooperation with NPR....
GOP Election Audits Prove Biden’s Presidency Can Only Last Three and a Half More...
The results of two major pretend-audits in Arizona and Georgia are starting to come in, and Cyber Ninjas, the company that performed them, says...
Biden Asks Greene for Input on Space Force Laser Project
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden announced today that Space Force will begin work soon on a new missile defense system, and he wants...
The Moron League of America Expels Marjorie Greene Over Anti-Vaxxer Comments
The longest-running association of morons has officially expelled a sitting member of Congress, a first for the organization. In a press release given to...
