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Putin Wants to Compare Tapes With Omarosa
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- There is at least one person who runs the United States of America who is not all that upset with Omarosa...
Steven Seagal Looking Forward To Piss Whores
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former alleged actor and martial artist Steven Seagal will be the next President of the United States of America. Or, at...
Barack Obama: “I Bet That Punk Ass Beta Cuck Male Stephen Miller Can’t Hold...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, NBC News reported that White House Senior Policy Adviser, and Transylvania's most eligible but least desirable bachelor, Stephen Miller,...
Lying Sack Of Shit Working For Obnoxious Asshole Who Spread Racist Rumor For a...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite being a combative, curt, condescending, tantrum throwing, filibustering, intellectually and literally dishonest sack of shit, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders...
Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them...
LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple of Dark Red -- a Satanic cult whose practices include...
Bob Mueller Walking White House Grounds Looking For Good Stakeout Point Ahead Of Putin...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Special Counsel Robert Mueller has been seen in the past few hours at the White House, meticulously...
Putin Can’t Believe It’s Really Going To Be THAT Easy Bugging Every Single Room...
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- The Russian/American President just cannot believe his luck, sources close to the Kremlin are telling the media, and when Vladimir Putin...
Doctors Unsure How Peter Strzok Got His Foot So Far Up Trey Gowdy’s Sphincter
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a marathon, all-day hearing of the House Oversight and Judiciary Committees, Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) and embattled FBI Agent Peter...
Richard Spencer Named Papa John’s New Chairman
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- In an attempt fill the vacancy left by outgoing chairman and company founder John Schnatter, pizza purveyor Papa John's has announced...
Brett Kavanaugh Turns In List of Civil Rights He Doesn’t Acknowledge to Mitch McConnell
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- D.C. appeals judge Brett Kavanaugh was formally introduced as President Trump's pick to replace outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy this...
