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Remington Introduces New Smocking Gun Marketed to Painters and Traitors
MADISON, NORTH CAROLINA -- One of the world's leading firearms manufacturers announced during an investor call this morning that they will be releasing a...
Midterm Voters Anxious to Take First Steps Toward Ending State of National Emergy
The results of a new poll we conducted with the help of We Poll You So Hard, one of the nation's leading public polling companies, seem...
Hungover Kavanaugh Asks If Oath Still Counts If He Was Blacked Out While Taking...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A bleary-eyed, disheveled looking Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh was seen entering the national archives this morning, a look of concern...
Racist, Lying Little Man With Tiny Hands, Mushroom Penis, and Bad Spray Tan That...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Trump just doesn't understand why anyone would ever laugh at his expense, sources close to the most powerful...
Ted Cruz Grills Kavanaugh For His Views On Booger Eating
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Senate Judiciary Committee has been interviewing Judge Brett Kavanaugh as part of the Supreme Court confirmation process -- a process...
Sessions Promises To ‘Get to Bottom Of Why’ Hillary Clinton’s Lawyer, Campaign Manager Still...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than a year and a half into the Donald Trump presidency, Hilary Clinton has still yet to see her attorney...
Richard Nixon’s Boner Intensifies Yet More Still
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SOMEWHERE DEEP IN HELL -- Former President Richard Nixon, the first and only -- for now -- man to ever...
Putin Revokes Brennan’s Security Clearance
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former CIA Director John Brennan has been stripped of his security clearance at the behest of the most powerful man in...
Obama Can’t Guarantee He Never Heard N-Word
SECRET SHARIA BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN KENYA -- Deep within his specially designed Sharia Bunker, former President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) issued a statement regarding...
Hillary Clinton Circling Omarosa’s Building Shouting, ‘Lock Her Up!’
At the time of publication, eyewitnesses are reporting that former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has been circling the home of former Trump...
