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Doctor Explains How Judge’s Foot Lodged In Roger Stone’s Rectum Will Keep His Mouth...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In federal court on Thursday, President Donald Trump's longest-running political adviser and ally, Roger Stone, was placed a full gag order,...

Barack Obama and The Clintons Sue Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News for Defamation

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In a stunning, unforeseen development, former President Barack Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton have filed...

Charlie Kirk and Ben Shapiro Locked in Bitter Custody Battle Over Shared Brain Cell

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Today, papers were filed in New York district court to determine who will have custody of a single brain...

Leaked: Former White House Communication Director Caught With His Hand In A Mooch

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Air Force One -- A two-year old leaked White House pool photograph snapped a controversial picture of staffers on a flight to a campaign-style...

Tom Brady: Promise of Cold White House Hamberder Buffet Inspired Super Bowl XLIII Performance

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ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- With Super Bowl XLIII in the books, and his team once again world champions, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was...

Mitt Romneytron First Android to Endorse Howard Shultzbot’s Campaign

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Mitt Romneytron (R-UT) shocked the world today when he announced that he would endorse someone in next year's presidential election...

Why Women Can’t Resist Steve Bannon

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Washington, D.C. -- There's something about Donald Trump's former Chief Strategist that women can't resist and for years, women of all political stripes have...

Hillary Clinton Circling Home of Roger Stone Chanting, ‘Lock Him Up!’

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FLORIDA -- In the pre-dawn hours this morning, the FBI raided Roger Stone -- a man who has advised President Donald Trump politically for...

White House Requests Celebratory McNugget Dipping Sauce Lists from Rams and Patriots

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration sent a letter addressed to both the Los Angeles Rams and the New England Cheatriots, ahead of Super...

David Duke, American Nazi Party, KKK Condemn Media for Implying Racists Wear MAGA Hats

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DÉSOSSAGE VOTRE COUSIN, MISSISSIPPI -- This morning, in a rare and unforeseen turn of events, a joint statement was written and released by white...