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Kirstjen Nielsen Filling Out Employment Application At On The Border Mexican Grill
GOLD HILLS, VIRGINIA -- Former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen will be in need of gainful employment very soon.
Last week, Nielsen was...
Tomi Lahren Says NASA’s Black Hole Picture is ‘Reverse Racism’ Because #AllHolesMatter
VALLE INSÍPIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist Tomahawk Lahren does not like black holes, and she has made it a lifelong mission of...
Outgoing DHS Secretary Nielsen Making One Last Run to Petco for Dog/Migrant Child Crates
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen announced she was leaving the Trump administration. Secretary Nielsen took to...
Barr Says He Has Evidence of OJ Simpson’s Innocence, But American Public Can’t See...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr held a press conference today and made a stunning, rather unforeseen announcement. He has discovered evidence that...
Barr Writes Four Page Summary of Book of Genesis Exonerating God for Great Flood
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr held a press conference at the Department of Justice this morning and presented to the American people...
Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Obama for Forging Hawaiian Birth Certificate, Confiscating Everyone’s Guns
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr keeps finding ways that the Mueller Report exonerates President Trump for various acts he has committed. First,...
AG Bar Says Mueller Report Exonerates Jussie Smollett
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The topsy-turvy, freewheeling, unpredictable nature of the major news headlines this week just took yet another turn for the completely unforeseen....
Jim Jordan Shreds Cohen Testimony: ‘Total Waste of Taxpayer Dollars’ That ‘Didn’t Get into...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told a right-wing talk radio station today that the hearing held before the House Oversight and Reform Committee...
Kraft Apologizes for Paying to Have Balls Deflated
CHOWDER, MASSACHUSETTS -- A spokesperson for Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots football franchise, released the following statement just moments ago. Mr....
Kellyanne Conway: National Emergency at Border ‘Much Bigger and Worser Crisis’ Than Bowling Green...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of President Trump's most vocal and loyal aides, Kellyanne Conway, was stopped on her way into the White House this...
