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“I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A cum soaked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-The Kremlin) told the American people he's "sick and tired" of what he...
McConnell Assures Public He’ll Secure 2020 Election Just as Soon as Putin Says He...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, perhaps feeling public pressure after leading the effort to block two legislative attempts to secure next...
Meadows Says He’ll Grill Mueller About Obama’s Tan Suit
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of President Trump's most loyal and strident allies in the House of Representatives told the media today he plans on...
Fox News’ Lahren: “Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!”
LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Last week, our sister publication, Alternatively Facts, published a story about Fox News contributing racist Tomi Lahren's feelings about a...
NRA Backs Law Allowing Gun Sales After Shop Is Closed
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- The National Rifle Association has come out in favor of new legislation which would allow for the sale of firearms after...
British Ambassador Promises To Stop Having Opinions That Are Based In Fact
MERRY OLD LONDON TOWN IN JOLLY OLD ENG-UH-LAND -- British Ambassador to the US, Kim Darroch, has found himself at the center of a...
Fox News Hires David Dennison as New Programming Director
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This morning, Fox News announced that it has hired presidential confidante David Dennison to be their new director of...
Tomi Lahren: “Everyone Knows Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!”
LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist muppet Timothy Lahren railed against Disney's decision to cast a female of color in...
Historians Unearth George Washington’s Pilot License
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the national archives have uncovered a document linked to the first President of the United States that may forever...
Local MAGA Supporter Suspicious Why Obama Never Declared His Rape Type
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a devout, proud, unabashed Donald Trump supporter, and has been since Trump announced that he was...
