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Hurricane Dorian Makes Preemptive Strike Against U.S. Nuclear Arsenal
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the Pentagon is confirming that the United States military is formulating a response to an unforeseen...
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The Oval...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg underwent three weeks of medical treatment for pancreatic cancer, the high court announced today. News...
Ben Carson and Betsy DeVos Convince White House to Rush Thousands of Rakes to...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House has issued an order to the United States Postal Service to rush ship as many rakes is as...
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Starts Charity to Rebuild Burned Down Childhood Belfry
PIG SLOP CROTCH, ARKANSAS -- Former White House Propaganda Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has been back at home in her home state, enjoying the...
A Complete List of Billionaire Pedophile Illegal Immigrant Mass Shooters in the News This...
In the last two weeks, there have been at least three high-profile mass shootings, one of which, in El Paso, was directly inspired by...
Evangelical Libertarian: “Jesus Died on the Cross to End Progressive Taxation”
HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Bill Millen makes no bones about it. He loves "God, guns, America, Jesus, and President Trump's trace rectal elements."
"If...
Billy Joel Says McConnell Was Inspiration for “Only the Good Die Young”
NEW YORK STATE OF MIND, NEW YORK -- Singer/songwriter and piano man Billy Joel was speaking to reporters today outside his New York home....
Nation Devastated to Find Out McConnell Will Probably Recover From Fall
Over the weekend, news broke that Senate Majority Leader and Satan's Best Friend Mitch McConnell fell and injured himself. Reportedly, Senator McConnell fell in...
MAGA Boy Outraged No Democrat Screamed About Mexicans or Mentioned Which of Their Children...
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins is a devout "MAGA Boy," as he calls himself.
"That's like a good ol'...
“I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A cum soaked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-The Kremlin) told the American people he's "sick and tired" of what he...
