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Taliban Endorses Judge Amy Coney Barrett for Supreme Court Justice
AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban have issued the following statement, in their words "fully and completely endorsing fellow Religious Zealot" Judge Amy Coney Barrett to...
1776 Commission Will Teach Kids Facts About America’s Totally Not Racist Past of Slavery,...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Recently, President Donald Trump at Education Secretary Betsy Devos announced that the 1776 Commission was being formed to combat what they...
Barr Suggests Charging People Who Vote for Biden With Sedition
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the history of the United States, very, very few people have ever been charged with the crime of sedition, even...
Pussy Grabbing Predator With 25 Credible Allegations of Sexual Assault Can’t Wait to Bring...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the nation's capital, there is a 74-year-old pussy grabbing alleged billionaire that has, over his lifetime, collected 25 credible allegations...
Joe Biden Uses Teleprompter to Read the Names of 200,000 Americans Who Died from...
LAGO DEL CRIMINAL GENOCIDA, FLORIDA -- Today, Joe Biden made a campaign stop in Tampa Bay, Florida. One of the lines of attack that...
Newly Discovered Life on Venus Declines Offer to Be Taken to Our Leader
BLEEPBLORP, VENUS -- 2020 has been quite a year. "One for the record books," as one might be inclined to say. An impeachment trial....
Idiot Wants Moron to Moderate Debate With Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The 2020 presidential election is just over 50 days away, and that means the debates between the two major party candidates...
Man Who Intentionally Wiped Out 200k Americans Outraged Mueller’s Agents Accidentally Wiped Their Phones
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing we know about Trump supporters, it's that part of their core values is the belief that no...
Tom Cotton Can’t Wait to Be All Up Inside Your Pussies, America
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Maybe it won't happen. In order for it to happen, not only does President Donald Trump need to win re-election, he...
Smoky-Eyed Lying Fuckstick Defends Former Lying Fuckstick Boss in Two ABC Interviews
FUGLY HEIGHTS, ARKANSAS -- In under 70 days, the general public will have their first chance to choose who will lead the country in...
