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Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”

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LAKE NOSFERATU, FLORIDA -- This week, President Donald Trump weighed in via Twitter on two election recounts currently underway in Florida. Mr. Trump's tweet demanded...

Soldier Deployed At Border Hopes His Kevlar Vest Is Rock-Proof

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LOS CHINGADORES DE CULEROS NARANJOS, TEXAS -- Since last week, President Donald Trump has deployed American troops to the southern border between the U.S....

White House Offers Compromise: Birthright Citizenship For White Babies Only

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump set the American political scene on fire when Axios reported that he plans to sign an...

Brett Kavanaugh Jealous Democrats Got Bombed While He Had To Listen To Boring Court...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While the nation was gripped with headlines this week about the man who has come to be known as "the MAGABomber,"...

Budweiser To Sponsor “Kavanaugh’s Konfirmation Kegger” At White House

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Within hours of his confirmation to the Supreme Court of the United States -- by the thinnest margin in roughly 80...

Wall-Eyed Sean Hannity Dedicated Show’s A-Block To Repeating ‘That U.N. Press Conference Was Totally...

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump gave one of the most bizarre, careening, at times almost incoherent press conferences any world leader...

Grassley Warns Kavanaugh: “Another 60 or 70 Sexual Assault Allegations Might, Maybe, Could Make...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) has issued a stern warning to President Donald Trump's Supreme Court nominee in...

GOP Rep: “We Need Two Separate FBIs For Democrats and Republicans”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A freshman Republican congressman has floated a rather novel idea in an attempt to "spark bipartisan dialogue and ultimately reach a...

Americans Prepare To Launch Their Affordable Healthcare, Universal Education Into Space

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All over the country, Americans are talking about President Donald Trump's proposed Space Force, which he says he wants to have up and running...

Putin: “I’m Glad I Didn’t Have To Show Picture ID To Buy The Presidency”

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian and/or American President Vladimir Putin was overheard today speaking to his inner circle about comments made by one of his...