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Louie Gohmert Dragged Away By Masked Millennials After Saying “Antifa” 3 Times Into Bathroom...
VALLE DE MORMÓN RACISTACALVO, TEXAS -- According to those with firsthand knowledge of the situation, authorities are still desperately searching for a congressman who...
CDC Testing Effectiveness of Racial Slurs on COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control, at the request of the White House, has begun an emergency study on whether or not...
Skeletor Disappointed He Looks More Like Kellyanne Conway After Plastic Surgery
Editor's note: If you find yourself offended by this story, try to remember how ugly someone must be both inside and out to defend...
Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?
The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment inquiry. As most Americans know, however, the United States isn't...
White House Adds Drs. Giuliani, Hannity, and Lahren to Coronavirus Task Force
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that his coronavirus response task force has enlisted the service of three new specialists who the...
Gwyneth Paltrow and David Avocado Wolfe Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been "contained" in the United States, President Donald Trump is still...
Devin Nunes Accuses Hillary Clinton of Emailing Coronavirus to World and Then Deleting It
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Devin Nunes stepped out from underneath the testicular region of President Donald Trump's taint to accuse former Secretary of State...
David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been "contained" in the United States, President Donald Trump is still...
Bloomberg Grateful for Chance to Spend Fortune on Campaign Rather Than Helping Poor People...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- With Super Tuesday in the books, the race for the Democratic Party's nomination is starting to really take shape....
NASCAR Fans Roar Approval as Wealthy Coastal Elitist Pretends to Care About Their Culture
DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA -- Not everyone in attendance at the Daytona 500 this past weekend were supporters of his, but when a wealthy, coastal...
