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President Trump Worried Extended Coronavirus Lockdowns Might Cause Burrito Covering Shortages
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that the president enjoys his now daily coronavirus task force press briefings. Recently removed...
Bernie Sanders to Send What’s Left of His Vocal Cords to Presidential Election Hall...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont will not be the Democratic Party's nominee this November, but that doesn't mean a part of...
President Trump Grateful Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Doesn’t Preclude Him From ‘Intimate Times’ With The Ones...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump told Americans watching a Fox News town hall on the coronavirus outbreak today that he was "bigly grateful" self-quarantining...
Rep. Kevin McCarthy: “The Democrats Are Playing Politics With Corporate CEO Bonuses Hanging in...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Trump's Sphincter) lashed out at Senate Democrats just moments ago, accusing them of "playing politics" at...
Update: There Are Still LEGO On The Goddamned Floor
EL PIESANGRIENTO, CALIFORNIA -- Sources are confirming at the time of publications that, despite several pleas, hints, and even commands, there are still LEGO...
President Promises TrumpCare Will ‘Absolutely Cover Non-Existing Conditions’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump appears to be already jockeying for position in the 2020 presidential election season. Over the last few weeks,...
Ted Cruz: “Why Do Democrats Cry Over Terrorists From Other Countries But Vilify the...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was absolutely brutalized by then-candidate Donald Trump during the 2016 Republican primary. Trump accused Cruz's father of...
McConnell Calls For ‘Socialist, Libtard Cucks Who Elected Blacky McDemocrat’ to Unify Behind Trump’s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell took to the Senate floor yesterday and blasted Democrats not vocally supporting the drone strike killing...
Report: Donald Trump Is Still Your Impeached President
A new report from the New American Journal of Obvious Stuff has confirmed a simple fact, but a fact that could send shockwaves reverberating...
Tomi Lahren Spotted In Recruitment Office Enlisting Someone Else’s Kids to Die for Trump’s...
VALLE DE CHINGANDA IDIOTA RUBIA, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist and jingoism expert Tammy Larue was spotted at her local army recruitment office...
