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Hannity Summoned to White House to Soothe Trump’s Anxieties Over Mueller Charges
"I don't start any job unless I know I'm going to finish."
Robert Mueller to Hand Deliver Criminal Charges to Trump Administration Inside Dildo
"This way, one way or another you can go fuck yourself."
Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For ‘Chronic Jizz Face’
The hope is that when it's completed his face will look "a lot less like someone just jizzed in it without his permission."
Cop Stops Beating Black Man Long Enough to Agree With Trump That NFL Players...
"What are they even protesting, anyway?"
Trump Says He Prefers to Apologize to Widows Whose Husbands Weren’t Killed in Action
"I don't apologize to women in general."
Ted Cruz Sends Trump Zodiac Symbols and Warning: “Do Not Release Those JFK Files”
"There could be very stiff, very swift consequences."
Trump’s HHS Secretary Wants Department Small Enough to Fit in Immigrant Uteruses
"It just makes sense."
Donald Jr. and Eric Trump Plan to Scare White House Trick-or-Treaters as ‘Pointy-Headed Ghosts’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning the Trump administration announced that First Sons Donald Jr. and Eric Trump will be participating in a new tradition...
Bob Corker Says He’s ‘Not a Fan of the Taste of Trump’s Dick’ Anymore
"It's no fun sucking someone's dick, if you're just going to get sucker punched while it's still in your mouth."
Mark Cuban May Form “Billionaires Nobody Fucking Wants as Presidents Party” for 2020 Run
"They'll be choosing between the lesser of two douches."
