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Report: More People Watched Aretha Franklin’s Funeral Than Trump’s Inauguration
GRAND FALLS, MICHIGAN -- Mathematicians at the University of Northern Michigan have released the results of a snap study they did which seems to...
Secret Service Wants to Question McCain Eulogists For Slaying Trump
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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At this hour, the Secret Service is confirming that they will be reaching out to former Presidents...
To Defeat Them, Trump Decides To Buy Google
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though White House lawyers are still confirming if it would be legal to do so, President Donald Trump announced today that...
Trump Demands Betsy Ross Redesign American Flag
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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump did not color the American flag wrong while visiting elementary school children, despite what...
Google Exec: “Maybe Instead of Googling Himself, The President Should Go Fuck Himself”
SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump stepped up his attacks on social media and tech giants on Twitter, accusing Google of having...
Putin Growing Irritated Hillary Is In Trump’s Mouth More Than He Is These Days
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian/American President Vladimir Putin (R-Kremlin) is said to be extremely irate these days, after reviewing several recent tweets sent by one...
Trump Signs Order Creating New Government Search Engine “Tru-gle”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the Oval Office, just hours after tweeting his displeasure about Google search results for "Trump news," President Donald Trump signed...
Sarah Palin Pretty Sure She’s President Now
FLATULENT FALLS, ALASKA -- Former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is said to be boarding a jet headed for the nation's capital at the...
Huckabee Sanders Can’t Guarantee Trump’s Not Never Probably Absolutely Definitely Said The N-Word...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters today that she "cannot, in good faith, guarantee"...
Trump Argues Hush Money Payments Not Campaign Finance Fraud Because They Were Made In...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of the last two years, President Trump has changed his story quite significantly when it comes to the...
