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Trump Offers To Grab Mitt Romney’s Binders By The Pussy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, former Massachusetts governor, failed 2012 Republican presidential candidate, and all-around nice robot Mitt Romney announced his candidacy for outgoing Utah...
Presidents Day Trivia: 45 Facts About 44 Presidents And One Orange Douchebag
Today is Presidents Day. Which means one thing for our readership: trivia!
Who doesn't love trivia? We'll tell you who -- assholes. Total fuckin' assholes...
Trump Has Moment Of Silence For Parkland Victims Before Slicing Tee Shot And Screaming,...
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- The President of the United States held a private, solemn ceremony today, honoring the victims and survivors of the horrific mass...
Trump Worried He Hasn’t Made The Murder Of School Children About Him Enough
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- This morning, President Trump was stopped by reporters as he existed the clubhouse, headed for the first tee on the course...
Trump: ‘There Are Good People On Both Sides Of Robert Mueller’s Indictments’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, while watching Fox News in the Oval Office with his feet up on the Resolute Desk,...
Model and Adult Film Star Drops Bombshell: ‘I Have Never, Would Never, And Will...
VALLE DE COGER, CALIFORNIA -- This morning, former Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal, in an exclusive for The New Yorker, revealed that she carried on an extramarital...
White House Unveils Cat Food Brands Trump’s Budget Proposal Lets SNAP Recipients Choose From
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Under President Donald Trump's proposed budget, the federal government would drastically overhaul how the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP, works....
Furious Trump Demands American Curlers Take Their Shots Standing Upright
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House have reported that over the weekend, President Donald Trump caught as much of the 2018 Winter...
Puerto Rico And Flint, Michigan Are Vying To Host Trump’s Military Parade
A recent poll conducted by The Military Times shows that the overwhelming majority of service members surveyed are not in favor of a military parade, as...
Trump Tells Joint Chiefs To Promote Him From Cadet To Major General Bone Spurs
And they better do it bigly quick!
