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Trump Appoints David “Avocado” Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump announced that he has directed the Food and Drug Administration to create a new, special post and...
Report: President Trump Still Likes Russian Whore Piss And Wants To Fuck His Daughter
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though the story has faded from the forefront of media coverage, several press outlets have been working day and night to...
Trump, DeVos Unveil “Every Child Left Behind” Educational Reform Program
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this week, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, with President Donald J. Trump by her side, announced a new education program...
Trump Says He’s Found Obama’s Wakanda Birth Certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an unforeseen but perhaps truly world changing series of events, President Donald Trump announced this morning that he had made...
Jeff Sessions Not Sure Trump’s Dick Tastes So Good After All
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a gathering of evangelical Christians in the nation's capital today that he is not stepping down,...
Gun Rights Activist: President Trump’s The ‘Right Shade Of Gun Grabber’
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- For the entire eight years of the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya), Jethro Bohiggins was on an "eternal...
President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his administration bravely charging into a screening room that was showing...
Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's governors, said that he would have probably charged headlong into...
Ivanka Says Media Wouldn’t Ask Other President’s Daughter/Lover/Official White House Aide About His Sexual...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An offended Ivanka Trump recently told an NBC reporter that she thought it was "inappropriate" of him to ask her about...
#TwitterLockout: Trump Supporter Believes Purged Russian Bots Were Taken To Obama FEMA Camps
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- This week, conservatives and Trump supporters on Twitter began panicking when they started to notice their follower counts drop...
