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Trump Regrets Lying About Lying About Telling Michael Cohen to Lie About Him Lying

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Donald Trump came down from the White House's presidential residence to the Oval Office late this afternoon to retrieve a...

Trump Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a long-winded, rambling, often...

Nielsen: More People Watched Michael Cohen’s Testimony Than Wanted to Watch Trump’s Inauguration

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Nielsen Ratings company has been tracking what Americans watch and how many of them watch it for decades....

Trump Regrets Lying About Lying About Telling Michael Cohen to Lie About Him Lying

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Donald Trump came down from the White House's presidential residence to the Oval Office late this afternoon to retrieve a...

Trump Gave Kim Jong-Un List of Blue States He’d Prefer NK Aim Nukes At

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AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- During his meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, President Donald Trump handed his counterpart a map of the United...

Trump Packed Two Pairs of Dress Bone Spurs for Vietnam Summit

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VIETNAM -- No one can ever accuse President Donald Trump of not dressing up for an occasion, and even important international diplomatic summits require...

A Scientific Breakdown of All the Racism in Spike Lee’s Oscar Acceptance Speech

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Last night, iconic film director Spike Lee made personal history when he was finally awarded an Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay. Lee won...

Mexico Agrees to Pay for National Emergency as Long as Trump Can Prove it...

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MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Federal Government of Mexico has sent an official communique to both houses of Congress, offering to shoulder the financial...

McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit His Entire Dick In There

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell forcefully insisted that the entirety of whatever it...

Trump Calls Putin and Wishes Him a Happy ‘Actual’ President’s Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All over the country, the nation's schools are closed in recognition and celebration of President's Day, and while the federal government...