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Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

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The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment inquiry. As most Americans know, however, the United States isn't...

President Worries Never-Trumpers Are Dying of COVID-19 to Make Him ‘Look Bad’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the United States has suffered 83, 115 fatalities as a result of complications from COVID-19 infections....

Trump Promises to Attach Obamagate Evidence to Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is extremely concerned and hyper-focused on what is perhaps the most pressing and urgent matter facing every American...

Nation Devastated to Learn Trump Officials Will Likely Recover from Coronavirus Infections

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All across the United States, Americans are finding out that the executive branch of their government is currently besieged by an outbreak of COVID-19,...

Trump Pledges 10,000 Flotation Devices to ‘Help the Mexicans Survive’ Cinco de Mayo

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A perhaps confused President Trump began his day this morning by making what he later told aides he felt was a...

New Poll: 75% of Americans Hope Trump and Kim Jong-un Share a Cardiologist

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The results of a newly conducted and released poll seem to indicate that nearly eight out of every ten Americans are hoping that North...

Whiny Bitch Says He’d Suck Less at COVID-19 Response If Media Wasn’t So Mean...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A big, fat, whiny, entitled, spoiled bitch stood in the White House press briefing room and insisted to reporters yesterday that...

CDC Urges Trump Supporters to Stop Sharing Hoods

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In what has been one of the busiest and most critical times in its existence, the Centers for Disease Control has...

Trump Will Hold Instagram Live Cross Burning to ‘Make Up For’ Canceled Campaign Rallies

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump reportedly has been quite unnerved at how long it's been since his last campaign rally. Mr. Trump has...

CDC Wants Trump Supporters to Stop Sharing Hoods

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In what has been one of the busiest and most critical times in its existence, the Centers for Disease Control has...