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4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much
There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic words to use. We're not talking about words like the...
Town Passes Law Allowing You to Shit on TP Hoarders’ Lawns
LAKE PELOUSE DE MERDE, WISCONSIN -- On a 3-2 vote, the local city council passed an ordinance last night allowing people to use the...
WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND -- The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human beings on planet Earth, pleading with them to consider limiting...
Trump Offers to Run the Real Taj Mahal Into Bankruptcy
INDIA -- President Donald Trump is in India for a couple of days this week. Today, he gave a speech to a throng of...
Eric Trump Says It’s ‘Shameful’ That Joe Biden Got His Son Barista Job at...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's smartest son with the name "Eric" appeared on Fox News last night and proceeded to trash former...
Pro-Life Evangelical Backs Philandering Criminal’s War With Iran, No Matter How Many Children Die...
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster, YouTube personality, and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins considers himself to be a "dyed in the wool, washed by...
Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who also consider themselves fans of the Star Wars franchise not to invest...
Trump Accuses Democrats of Trying to Steal an Election By Getting More Votes
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the battle over impeachment rages on, President Donald Trump has amplified his angry invective against House Democrats who he says...
Starbucks Asks Customers Not To Open Carry Vape Pens in Stores
SEATTLE, WASHINGSTONED -- Coffee retailer Starbucks is joining a growing list of businesses that is asking customers not to bring personal items into their...
FBI Report Shows U.S. Needs Just 400 Trillion More Thoughts and Prayers to Reduce...
"Platitudes are probably a way better idea at this point."
