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Ivanka’s Never Been So Sure Her Dad’s Not Batman
"My first clue was that unlike Bruce Wayne, Daddy's a billionaire who doesn't care about anyone but himself. But then, yeah, the eating pussy...
O’Reilly and Trump to Tour KFCs and Women’s Locker Rooms Later This Year
Last week, it was announced that former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached President Donald Trump, who has yet to win more votes on aggregate than his...
Biden Tells Space Force to Stop Pointing Telescope at Ivanka’s Bedroom
President Joe Biden ordered Space Force to "immediately reposition" a massive telescope miles away from the Earth's orbit and point it away from the...
Facebook Says Trump Has to Wait Two Years Before Trying to Use It to...
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facebook announced today that former President Donald Trump's suspension will continue for two years, after which he is "free...
Ivanka to New York Attorney General: “Daddy Doesn’t Need More Reasons to Roll Over...
LAKE VAPID, FLORIDA -- When New York Attorney General Letitia James announced that her office's investigation into the finances of the Trump Organization had...
Amazon Delivered Crates of Crayons to Mar-A-Lago for Trump to Write Memoir
FAR-TA-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Sources close to the situation in Florida are telling us that this past weekend, several dozen crates of crayons were delivered...
Exclusive: Doctor Says He Made DeSantis in a Lab Using Trump’s Shmegma
LAKE DILDOAH, FLORIDA -- Just over an hour ago, standing in front of the global headquarters for DoucheGen Labs -- one of the largest...
Trump Tells Maria Bartiromo He Still Hasn’t Accepted Results of Election or Insurrection
In a new interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, former President Donald John Mushroom Sized Dong Trump said he still has yet to...
Biden Ends Trump Administration’s Research Into Electrolytes and Plant Life
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While he's only been in office just around a hundred days, President Joe Biden has shown no lack of desire or...
Ivanka Says She ‘Begged’ Her Father to ‘Pull Out Before Biden’
Former First Lady Ivanka Trump might have been a little confused this morning when she was asked about President Joe Biden's decision to end...
