“Fuck ’em. Like, seriously, man. Fuck ’em.” – Cache Gazette, NRA Junior Deputy Media Liaison
For generations, parents have worried about keeping their children safe. Whether it’s measles, mumps, rubella, whooping cough, SIDS, or crossing the street, parents do everything in their power to protect their offspring. It’s why babies and small children ride in car seats, and why public schools have vaccination requirements to protect herd immunity.
When it comes to protecting kids from the thing that kills them most, however, it seems that at least some American parents are less worried about protecting children, and more worried about protecting the profit margins of gun manufacturers and their chief political lobbyists, the Nationalist Rifle Association.
Over the past few years, gun violence has surpassed every other cause of death among children. More kids are shot now than drown in pools. That’s because unlike objects designed purely to kill living things, Americans have largely agreed for decades that pool owners should be required to have insuranc, to put up fences and gates, and install pool covers. In some red states, though, there are proposals to make it illegal not to put a gun under your child’s pillow when the Tooth Fairy visits.
Watch KPBC’s report on Gazette’s comments:
“…the NRA has a duty to protect one thing, and it’s not freedom, or liberty, or even the Second Amendment. It’s our money. Our sweet moolah.” – Gazette
Recently, Cache Gazette of the NRA held a press conference to address this issue, which was reported on by KBPC News. Gazette told reporters that, essentially, the NRA doesn’t expend much bandwidth worrying about kids being shot in schools. More specifically, Gazette summed up the NRA executive board’s considered thoughts on school shootings with two succinct words.
“Fuck ’em,” Gazette declared, “Like, seriously, man. Fuck ’em.”
As strident as he was, however, Gazette did admit that the NRA does have some discussions and even feelings after every school shooting. Mostly, though, he said those were feelings are the “pride” the NRA board feels knowing every shooting will only “convince paranoid gun nuts” to buy more guns. That, in turn, has a very positive impact on the NRA’s financial bottom line, Mr. Gazette told us in a follow-up Skype call.
“Did I come off as a little cold in that press conference? Maybe,” Gazette told us, “I’ll tell you something though, the NRA has a duty to protect one thing, and it’s not freedom, or liberty, or even the Second Amendment. It’s our money. Our sweet moolah. And if every kid who dies in school makes another moron buy another five guns, that’s just more moolah for us. You see? It’s just a math and moolah thing, really.”
This story first appeared as part of Into the Garbage Chute, Season 2: “Deluxe Chili Cheese Fries.“
