Netflix Announces Tiger King Follow-Up: “Even More Assholes Treating Each Other Like Shit”

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HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — Building off its tremendous popularity, Netflix has announced that they have entered a deal with the producers of the docuseries “The Tiger King,” and it should hit the streaming service early next year.

“We’re obviously really tremendously pleased with how Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness has been accepted. We had a feeling that when subscribers got a glimpse into Joe Exotic’s life that they’d be enthralled with it,” Netflix Chief of Programming Strategy Mitch Masterson told investors in a conference call this morning. “So we are beyond stoked that the show’s producers anticipated that a follow-up might be called for, and already started working on it.”

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Apparently, the show’s producers are so far along into production on “The Tiger King” sequel that they already have a title for it.

“We anticipate the release of Even More Assholes Treating Each Other Like Shit sometime in the first or second quarter of next year,” Masterson disclosed. “They’ve already got so much douchebaggery, galling egotism, and straight-up crazy-as-fuck, selfish-centered content edited and in the can already, they say they’ve got half the episodes already completed.”

Masterson said he believes that what draws people to “The Tiger King” is something “very simple.”

“It’s a train wreck, but most importantly, it’s the rare train wreck with a train full of the absolute worst kinds of people. So you don’t even really care if the train jumps the tracks, or crashes headlong into one of the other trains, which is also chock-full of assholes,” Masterson supposed. “How many movies do you get to watch where there are literally not any good guys, and only a handful of characters you don’t actively root against?”

The show’s producers did indicate audiences might be surprised by one change from “The Tiger King” to its sequel — the tigers.

“All of the tigers are also going to be complete assholes in the next season,” Masterson said. “A couple of them are Nickelback fans. One tiger won’t shut up about his opinions on abortion. And one tiger just will NOT stop using the N-word with the black panther in earshot.”

What’s uncertain at this time is how much participation in the sequel those featured in the first docuseries will have. Characters like Carole Baskin, Doc Antell, and Jeff Lowe have become household names now that so many people have seen “The Tiger King.” But in the wake of the first series, several of them are either in jail, like Joe Exotic, or are facing their own legal issues. The sequel’s producers already had that scenario in mind, however, and apparently had a plan to mitigate it.

“Apparently they’ve lined up dozens of new assholes to feature in the sequel,” Masterson explained. “I myself wasn’t sure if any of the new assholes they’ve found could compare to the assholes in the first series, but they showed me some rough cuts of the new episodes, and I have to say, they found some pretty great big assholes to fill the other assholes’ shoes.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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