“…with my CUNT right beside it, DOGE will be able to accomplish our mission.” – Elon Musk, Head of DOGE
The people who wrote the Constitution were most worried about a rich, unelected powerful man using his money and influence over the government, with no real recourse for the American people to stop it. I’m not really sure why I started this article with that fact, but in other news…
Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy will be heading up the new “Department Of Government Efficiency,” or DOGE if you’re into cringe governmental acronyms that also represent cryptocurrency scams. Musk, who allegedly really hates bureaucracies will become one of the most powerful and influential bureaucrats in history. Again, not sure why I keep bringing this up, maybe I have some kind of brain worms our incoming Health Department chief can help me figure out, but the facts remain that DOGE will be in charge of finding and eliminating government waste, or at least eliminating what two wealthy nepobabies think constitutes government waste.
While the country waits to find out exactly what the guy who bought Twitter so he could buy the White House will consider too wasteful for the government to spend money on, he told reporters today while having brunch with the president-elect at a Florida McDonald’s that DOGE will work “hand in hand outstretched at a forty-five degree angle” with another group he leads. Together they’ll “rid the people of America of all that pesky help” they need to pay their bills.
“I started the Consortium of Unctuous Nationalist Techbros with the goal of breaking the grip of the Woke Mind Virus on America, and now, with my CUNT right beside it, DOGE will be able to accomplish our mission,” Musk said, scratching his hair-plug filled head as he did so.
Not much is known about Musk’s CUNT, but Musk assured the American people that the “wealthy, gelatinous sacks of misanthropic Anthrax-tainted beef” that are all up inside his CUNT have the “best interests of the most important people in America” first and foremost in their minds.
“So that’s why everything we cut will hurt the Poors and help the people who matter most,” Musk explained, telling everyone he was late to catch his Epstein Air flight out of Miami International Airport.
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