By our count, there have been at least twelve or thirteen First Ladies of the United States of America. There might be more, but we were too in a rush to Google, so we just counted the ones we could remember and removed the duplicates. However many First Ladies there have actually been, we all know that Americans have an attention span shorter than a gnat’s pubescence, so in terms of picking their favorite, they’re probably only going to choose from the last two or three.
And because we here at The Political Garbage Chute are mostly and firstly interested in getting to the bottoms of things, we hit the streets and asked the American people a tough but reasonable question.
“Between Melania, Jill, or Elon, who is your favorite First Lady?”
Chad Beefington, 35, Pt. Northstar, ID
“Hmm. That’s a tough call. But since he gave me a million dollars to sign a petition demanding that flights on Epstein Air be tax deductible, I gotta go with First Lady Elon.”
Delores Kilffbarr, 45, Dallas, CA
“I like smart people who aren’t assholes, so it’s a no-brainer vote for Dr. Biden for me.”
Ted Cruz, 53 Going on Stupid, Cancun, Mexico
“Who cares? They’re all way better looking than my wife, who I affectionately refer to as ‘Ugly Heidi.’ But if you’re going to make me choose, you libtarded jerk, I’m going to have to choose Elon, obviously. What’s a Republican if not a billionaire’s cum sponge, am I right?
I’m right.”
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