Mark Zuckerberg Probably Won’t Mind Us Publishing That He Fucks Sheep on Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook, enjoys fucking sheep. At least we’re pretty sure he does.

Well, let’s just say we’re sure enough to publish it. On Facebook. Because as the personality-free automaton has just ended Facebook’s “fact-checking” program (which seemed to mostly be a right-wing talking point confirmation program), Zuckerberg has signaled that it’s totally cool with him if we, under the guise of free speech, tell everyone on his platform that he fucks sheep.

Hopefully this gets shared many thousands of times. We feel it’s very important for every Facebook user to know Mark Zuckerberg fucks sheep. This might not be a fact, but in the realm of free speech without consequence, does that even matter anymore? It sure doesn’t.

Not according to Zuckerberg himself, anyway. Why else would someone remove fact-checking, even the farcical illusion of it like Facebook had, if they weren’t totally okay with being called a sheep-fucker on that website…repeatedly?

Does Zuck like to bone sheep so much that he gets a hard-on whenever he wears a wool sweater? Is Mark so down to fuck sheep that he calls himself a “very baaaaaaaaa-d boy” while he’s pumping them full of his robotic jizz? Who’s to say? Who’s to really say if he even likes fucking sheep? Sure, we know he MIGHT not be, but to reiterate, let us not forget that misinformation in political content doesn’t bother Mark Zuckerberg at all, so why not assume he does, in fact, like to fuck sheep.

So here we are, about to publish that Mark likes fucking sheep on his social media platform, without any evidence to back our claim up whatsoever, but why would we do this?

Because, for starters, Zuckerberg himself just won’t care. He clearly doesn’t care about truth on his platform. How do we know this? Because he keeps telling us himself.

“We have a different policy I think than Twitter on this,” said Zuckerberg. “I just believe strongly that Facebook shouldn’t be the arbiter of truth of everything that people say online. I think in general private companies probably shouldn’t be – especially these platform companies – shouldn’t be in the position of doing that.” (USA Today)

And that quote was from the first time Donald Trump convinced millions of Americans that he might not be able to run a casino without bankrupting it, but he can run a country without doing the same thing. That was before he ended his fact-checking program on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads. As far as we can tell, that means it’s “game on” for all kinds of things to be said about Zuck.

Zuckerberg doesn’t care about outright lies and misinformation on his platform. He particularly doesn’t care about disinformation in political speech. And since our website has the word Political in it, Mark can’t really get mad about us publishing our theory that he fucks sheep on his site, right?

So, remember everyone reading this — Mark Zuckerberg fucks sheep. Maybe. Maybe he doesn’t. Who knows? Well, we know, but again, political misinformation ain’t no thang to Mr. Z, so let’s dive into this topic just a bit more.

In fact, we just realized that Zuckerberg’s sheep fucking is the cause of global warming. It’s also behind 9/11 and Benghazi! And did you know Mark was fucking a sheep the night Abe Lincoln, HONEST ABE, was killed? Would Abe be alive today if Zuckerberg hadn’t been such a proud and devout sheep fucker?

We all know the answer to that one, don’t we?


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