Later he said he smoked the cannabis, and “ate a bunch of chips,” which he later confirmed was the whole bag.
In California, a man told KPBC news recently about his experience using legal, recreational cannabis, or “weed” as the kids today have been calling it for 50 years.
According to a report filed by KPBC’s Skip Tumalu, Jerry Tohsturstrewdel lives in his average suburban town of Playas Fumas, California, and a few nights ago he decided to do what he does most every night. Jerry told KPBC that he got off work one recent night and, as he is wont to do on many such nights, he purchased legal recreational cannabis from a dispensary authorized to do so.
It’s unclear which strain Jerry chose, but sources close the situation say it was definitely a sativa, or at least a sativa-dominant hybrid, as Jerry was able to smoke quite a bit of it before passing out. Before he passed out, Jerry described in great detail what he did that night.
WARNING: Those who are easily upset by descriptions and depictions of snacking and watching TV may wish to stop reading at this point.
“Skip, I got off work late Friday night…I went to a dispensary in town,” where he says he purchased his cannabis and took it home, Jerry told Tumalu. Later he said he smoked the cannabis, and “ate a bunch of chips,” which was later confirmed to have been the entire bag. Our sources tell us it was the “Chilé Limon” flavor of Lays brand potato chips.
As he consumed the chips, Tohsturstrewdel admitted he watched every episode of “The Golden Girls.”
We spoke to Dr. Benson Hornaydieux of the National Institute of Scientifically Looking Into Whatever Bullshit Our Grants Pay For, and he told us that this type of uneventful, anti-climactic story is shockingly common.
“Oftentimes people used to think cannabis was a gateway drug to more dangerous substances,” Hornaydieux told us. “But the simple fact is, more often than not, our studies show usually people just smoke pot and do stuff that is more enjoyable while high…on pot. But not, like, violent or dangerous stuff. Just…usually mundane stuff, really.”
This story is re-reported from the “Ballpickle!” epsiode of Into the Garbage Chute.
