Jenna Ellis Leaves GOP to Form ‘Trump’s Balls Party’

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MT. SHITDICK, COLORADO — Jenna Ellis, an attorney who represented former, one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump’s efforts to steal last year’s election from Joe Biden, has decided it’s time for her to leave the Republican Party.

During a segment on her television show, Ellis blasted establishment Republicans and quit the GOP, live on air. Ultimately, Ellis’ complaints amount to her being extremely upset about how little help Trump is getting in pushing his lies about the election. Earlier in the day, Ellis feuded publicly with Ronna Romney McDaniel, the current chairwoman of the Republican Party.

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Just hours after she announced she was leaving the Republican Party, Ellis took to OAN and announced that she was forming a new party.

“The Trump’s Balls Party will be a place for everyone who feels that the Republican Party doesn’t keep things, you know, melanin-free enough for their liking. It’ll be a party for people who are unafraid to vote for who they want, and when they lose, unafraid to storm the capitol to pretend they didn’t,” Ellis said. “It’ll be a party for people who know that rallies are great whether their Trump or klan. Most importantly, though, it’ll be party completely devoted to the most important American value of all time — Donald Trump’s fragile ego.”

The TBP will be “guided by a simple principle,” Ellis said. Namely, that the party does what Donald Trump wants.

“It’s very simple. We’re guided by a very simple principle. Do what Don Trump wants, say what he wants us to say,” Ellis said. “Because if we don’t hand over control of our party to him, we can’t hand over control of the country to him, and then we have a socialist regime instead of a monarchy of morons! AND GOOD, CLEAN, AMMO HOARDING PATRIOTS ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR MORONIC MONARCHY, JACK!”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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