Greene: Car Seat Laws are ‘Tyranny’ and Parents Should ‘Resist’ Them

Published on

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Cloven-footed freshman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told a group of maskless, pro-MAGA churchgoers this morning that she believes the “government has gotten too used to bein’ all tyrannical and stuff,” and she says it’s “high time patriots push back.”

“Everywhere you look, you see the woke, Antifa, Critical Race Theory cancel culture communist left telling you how to live your lives. Even how to raise your kids,” Greene told the attendees of a prayer breakfast. “They want to force you to put a mask over their face, and as if that wasn’t enough power for them to consume, they’ve been forcing you for years to put a seat belt on them when you drive them around!”

CDC: Increased Risk of COVID Infection After Exposure to Blathering, Right-Wing Morons

Rep. Greene blasted Democrats for their “overly pro-life laws.”

“Look, I’m all for forcing women like me to be nothing more than birthing cows,” Greene said, “but these overly pro-life laws are ridiculous. Once the baby is born and issued its boot straps, no American should care about that baby. Ever.”

Green says she intends to file paperwork “immediately” to impeach President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, and even the man she calls “Enemy Number One,” Dr. Anthony Fauci, who holds no elected office.

“Someone told me I can’t impeach Fauci cuz he weren’t elected or what have you,” Greene divulged this morning, “but I think that’s cuck talk! Don’t you, folks? It’s cuck talk. We’re gonna impeach Biden, Kamala, and Fauci! We have to stop this government tyranny, take the sneeze guards off our salad bars, repeal every single seat belt law, and take America back, patriots!”

Greene received a rousing ovation from the 120 congregants, whose collective IQ was estimated to be roughly 6.

Urologist Fears America’s Penis May Never Fully Recover from COVID-19 Delta Surge

Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

Latest articles

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

" they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...